how to spell bullshit

contradict yourself – say “i’m not drunk baby”, proceed to walk in a zig zag manner.

repeat yourself – “did i kick the old man down the stairs?…really? did i kick the old man down the stairs? did i? really?”

be emphatic – “you’re so…” “No” “…can you let me talk and not…” “No” “…stop inter-” “No”

state your arguing prowess, do not back up your statements – “no, you were wrong. and i don’t need to prove it. i don’t. i don’t have to prove anything.”

make bad excuses – “i’m sorry i yelled at you but that’s what i do for a living”

blow things out of proportion – see a girl talk to a black guy named bob, proceed to yell, “you think bob is so hot?! all black men are princes right? every black guy is your friend. don’t talk. i know. you love black guys right. i get it. i get it. i understand. you don’t say anything.”

tbc.

hey shawty.

to my dear best friend who

-tackled me to the floor, twice

-fell on her ass, many times

-thought she was spiderman

-wanted to gp to vivocity at 1 in the morning

-scratched posters off the floor

-had a drumstick fall out her mouth in the most unglam fashion

-approached total strangers to complain about her earring

-complained about people singing her birthday songs

-called a man ROSE

-burped in my face

well done you blabbering idiot. much love.

Brain Not Working

it’s been 24 full hours since i slept.

might not sound like alot, but i am quite happy i didn’t convulse and collapse in tutorial while trying not to piss myself.

thanks also to spss tutorial – for once i did my homework. all of it. and you didn’t check. CB.

Vegetarian

i got no beef today.

literally. i had salmon with some fancy sauce and mashed potatoes. i should have had the beef though, cos my friend had wyagu and she let me try it. damn that shit is good. so while i was racing through my dinner, i was wondering to myself…

oi. what do you have to complain about today you ungrateful bitch.

nothing much at that moment. the food was shiok (should have had the beef dammit) and the company was good and the alcohol was flowing (very important)… so what to do. complain about men. which then just makes me complain about myself.

i realised that, when it comes to men, everything (almost) i get upset about can somehow be argued to be my fault. that is not because it’s my fault, but because i’ve currently gotten into the habit of trying to talk myself out of being upset. also because i am very good at twisting arguments. so i’ve realised (kind of) that every frustrating action… that stems from whatever frustrating double-standard reasoning… that the frustrating (pattern?) men in my life inflict upon me… can somehow be my fault. because, sometimes, i behave the exact same way they do. so depressing.

i should have listened when jayson recommended the wagyu rump steak. see? i got no beef… and it’s my fault.